[sérigital] Brockmire (Saison 1)

Il va falloir que je parle un peu de la série Brockmire à l'occasion en lui dédiant un "5 bonnes raisons de voir". D'icil là, voici une petite compilation de répliques pour alimenter la catégorie sérigital.

S01E01 "Rally Cap" 

Brockmire - Well, may I ask your qualifications, son?

Jules - He's, uh, basically an Internet whiz kid.

Charles - Uh, yeah. I, um... I have the most Twitter followers in town. I, uh, have over 4 million Vine loops in total. DJ Khaled once shouted me out on a jet ski.

Jules - 10 years ago, your breakdown in the booth and... and press conference were like the original viral videos. So that's pretty neat. Right?

Brockmire - All right, just get it off. Get it off, please.

Charles - Get it off of where?

Brockmire - Make it go away.

Charles - Well, I can't.

Brockmire - No, don't pause... Just get it... Get it off of there.

Charles - Hey, the thing is, I can't get it off 'cause it's on the Internet. So it's... it's forever.

Jules - It's permanent.

Brockmire - So people just watch videos of the worst moments of my life and just laugh at my pain?

S01E05 "Breakout Year" 

Charles - The second meltdown video is trending on Twitter again.

Brockmire - What? That was two days ago. Who's still watching that stupid thing?

Charles - Well, I mean, it got a big boost when it circulated through local and national news.

Brockmire - How is Jim Brockmire yelling at a minor-league ball game national news?

Charles - The news now is pretty much anything that was on the Internet yesterday.

Charles - They are not assholes. They just want a little bit of heat from your Internet fame, like that you kid you just screamed at downstairs.

Brockmire - It just happened. How do you know about that?

Charles - Because that's Pussyhound14! He has 4 million followers on Vine. He uploaded the video of you just now. 80,000 loops already.

Brockmire - Oh, God. Yeah, I hate everybody.

Charles - Uh, we're reaching the end of our Internet-fame cycle, and these things move very fast. It starts with videos, then memes, conventional media, late-night monologues, and then finally, if my mom's seen it, we're dead.

Brockmire - Well, how long does all that take?

Charles - Five days, a week tops. And my mom just sent me the link. We need to hurry.

Brockmire - Well, hey. Put me in, Coach. I mean, uh, what's the plan?

Charles - Okay, um, if we're going to immediately capitalize on your fame, then we need to take a shotgun approach. Just insert you into a bunch of popular video formats like acoustic versions of songs, charity dares, playful dogs with Down Syndrome. But if none of those hit, then I'm afraid we're gonna have to start moving our way into creepy YouTube. Like ASMR.